Are You The Bigger Person, Or The Bully?

Image via WikipediaSo are you the bigger person, or are you the bully? 


So many have been touched by a bully story in some way, and this is one that reminds us, that we too can help someone just by being kind. 


♦♦Thank you to another great IMAlive volunteer for allowing me to share the story.♦♦


One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' 

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. 

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' 

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends? 
He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. 

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. 
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' 
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 

'Thanks,' he said. 

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach....but mostly your friends...... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' 

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life. 
For better or for worse..... 

Giving up your sport?

Image via Wikipedia

Did you ever say "I've had enough" or "I'm done with this sport?" You're not alone. So many kids, and teens have this thought. Then the parents have the fun time attempting to convince you(them) that you are so good, and you shouldn't stop/quit.

I came across this video, put together by a mom to show her daughter how good she is. This is gymnastics based, but the idea that is expressed can be used for almost every sport. It hit home for me because I was a gymnast growing up, and I remember a few times that I was done!

Enjoy
Click on here to view YouTube video

Image via Wikipedia

Image by Flying Cloud via Flickr

The Bridge

This documentary is an eye opener. So many people walk across the Golden Gate Bridge without any intention of jumping. Yet, it happens, and this bridge is the most used to commit suicide in the United States. In this documentary you will hear from family and friends of actual jumpers, as well as one who survived the jump. You will understand more about suicide, and why it's so important to learn more.

Rate: A
Buy: iTunes, DVD
Documentary with actual jumping off the bridge. Not for younger children.

Are You Afraid of Suicide?

As a parent, and a human being, I feel we all need to be more aware of suicide. It is a subject that so many are afraid to speak of, yet so many people are affected by suicide everyday. The person who is thinking of committing the act, and the friends and family of said person.

May I recommend a documentary for a better understanding of suicide. This documentary is very real, and explains many views of a suicidal person. "The Bridge" is about the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge is the most used bridge for suicide in the U.S.

Please ask the question "Are you thinking of suicide/killing yourself?" You might save a life.

A Little Harry Potter Music(fun)

Image via Wikipedia

Potter Pals

Image by moonlightbulb via Flickr

The Moaning Myrtles

I thought I'd share a few fun videos about Harry Potter. The fun is in the songs, not necessarily the video. It is the right time, and some of you may not know about them. Enjoy and I can't wait to see the first of the last tomorrow! 

Click on the links below they will take you to the YouTube video. 

☺☺☺
Click ---> In Which Moaning Myrtle Moans
☺☺☺
Click --->Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise (a must see)

Do Something! A Handbook For Young Activists

   

Painted on her wall

To Write Love On Her Arms April 2010
with Nathan Kress

NoH8

Sharing a passion for various movements has been a family affair in my house. My husband and I have brought awareness in many ways to our children, and they, in turn have taken it upon themselves to support what they believe in(see photos).

Listen up! You don't have to be a rock star or president or even have your driver's license to change the world. (This is the first line of the Do Something book)

Author Nancy Lublin along with Co-Authors Vanessa Martir and Julia Steers bring this interactive book to any child/tween/teen who would like to help change the world. This easy to use book enables the reader to fill in the answers to various questions by writing in the book itself, and then gives them step by step directions to find out what their "Thing" is, how to "Rock" their thing, and complete it.


My own children have looked at the book, and are excited to choose their next cause/movement or as Nancy calls it, their next thing.

I had the pleasure of doing a quick Q&A via email with Nancy this week.

Me- Why did you write Do Something?

Nancy- All three of us felt really strongly that younger kids are amazing too. They are super-creative and passionate--but largely overlooked. We wrote this for them.

Me- Why is it important to get tweens & teens involved? 

Nancy- It's good for them because being an active citizen gives them a sense of achievement, chance to learn, lead, etc. But it's also good for the world around them! Kids come up with amazing, innovative solutions. 

Me- What do you think the kids will get out of volunteering? 

Nancy- A life-long commitment to being an active citizen.

Me- Do you have children that are participating?

Nancy- My 5 year old daughter is responsible for refilling our re-usable water bottles, recycling all paper, and turning off all the light-switches. She takes this responsibility very seriously!

Me- Do you have a powerful catch phrase to get kids involved? 

Nancy- F-U-N!

Me- You founded Dress for Success at 23, is there anything else you'd like to share about your life? 

Nancy- I've always had a strong sense of right and wrong, and being active. In pre-school, a boy declared "Purple is a boy color! No girls can use the purple." I crawled under the table with magenta, lavender, lilac, mauve,aubergine and screamed "I've got the purple." (I apparently ran around the room with them in my clenched fists over my head too.) So i think I've always been this way...

Me- You said this book is like a cookbook of social change. Can you explain? 

Nancy- Vanessa and Julia were the ones who insisted that each project be broken down into small details including how much time something would take and what supplies were needed, so that it would be really practical.

Me- How does it make you feel when you hear about teens or families that volunteer? 

Nancy- Hopeful!

Me- What is your most memorable volunteering experience? 

Nancy- I still dream about Dress for Success almost every night...
 

For more information please see the website: www.dosomething.org

You can find the book at all major bookstores, online at Amazon, Workman.com, and Indie Bound. Please check your local mom and pop bookstores. We are here to help make a difference, and you can start with your local independent shops.

Disclaimer~ I was not paid to promote this book. I did however receive a copy of the book, and my family will use it for many years to come.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

November 19, 2010 

How to Train Your Dragon

I always find myself turning away from cartoon type movies at the theatre, and once again I wonder why I do that. The movie How to Train Your Dragon would have been amazing on the big screen. It is a delightful tale that leaves you shocked, but happy at the same time. Honestly how can you pass up vikings and dragons.
Don't miss this one.
===
Rate: A
Buy: DVD or rent it's worth it
PG

Jackass 3D

The long awaited continuation of the Jackass group was beyond words this time around. After hearing and reading reviews about the disgustingly tasteless pranks, I have to admit I laughed more this time, than the other movies they created. I was thoroughly grossed out by a few stunts, but of course that's to be expected.
This is not a movie for kids. Mr. Party Boy enjoys being nude.
Rate: A
Buy: Theatre and DVD
Rated R (plenty of language, nudity, and vomiting)

Harry Potter Series

Let us start with an amazing book series. When an author can take characters through seven novels, and keep her audience interested through the final page, you know she is a legend.

J.K. Rowling did just this. Book one introduced the reader to various characters and the trouble they face as new wizards. As each book came out each character(that survived the previous book) then encountered a new list of fun, drama, and turmoil. Within this series readers found laughter, hate, and tears. 

If you compare the books to the movies you will find a very good similarity between the two. What you won't find is the entire novel. This is the reason the final book is being split into two movies. They just can't skip any parts. Can I say thank you for that.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☺

Readers: 10-Adult (parents use your judgement on latter books for younger children)

It's Apple Time

Image by Paul-W via Flickr

Fall marks the calendar for our counties apple season. Oak Glen Orchards is closest for us, which is located near the beautiful San Bernardino mountains about 90 minutes from Los Angeles. Families can enjoy a day in the orchards to hand pick your own or purchase previously picked apples. Each location offers various types of apples, and may also include fresh juice, treats and entertainment. Small shops and restaurants are located in the middle of town with happy local residents ready to serve you.

Snow Line Orchards is home of the famous Apple Cider mini-donuts as seen on television. They also offer U-Pick raspberries. Just watch out for those bees. An original 1898 apple shed, three flavors of cider, and the state's oldest chestnut tree. This is our favorite to visit.

Parking is sometimes difficult so be prepared. Keep in mind that many orchards offer school tours during the weekdays. If you decide to wait towards November make sure you check online or call to make sure they're open. Many orchards close after apple season.

Who can resist home made apple pie? Not anyone in my family.

Grades, Projects, and Tardies

Image by jesseducation via Flickr

The local  middle school has made our lives as parents a little bit simpler by using a website called SnapGrades. This site is updated by each teacher daily or weekly(when they have time) with each students progress. Homework, projects, tests, tardies and missed days. Including PE, you can see how well they run the mile each week. If a student is falling behind the teacher can contact you via this website and stay on top of your child, and if they need to talk to the student about something they can leave a note on the website for both parent and student to see.

I am able to log on at anytime and see my child's current grade in each class. Any missing assignments, and their current GPA. I also receive a weekly email with current information.

Middle school is a difficult transition, and with help of a simple website like this, we can all keep our children on the right track. If your school doesn't have this type of simple communication maybe it's time to suggest it. I only wish they had it in my daughters high school. *Sigh*

Here is the website. If you watch the demo it will give you a nice introduction.

http://snapgrades.net/

Easy A

Comedy night here we come.If you're a fan of John Hughes movies, then Easy A should be your next movie. This movie is geared around a high school nobody who chooses to lose her virginity to get a reputation. Although, the movie is based around sex it wasn't the base of the movie. I had an under 13 year old with me, and I wasn't covering her eyes for those type of scenes.

The movie lived up to its hype as another great teen comedy. The theatre was full by the time the movie started so don't wait until the last minute to get to your seats.

Rate: A (easily)

Buy: Theatre if you can, rent or buy when it's out.

PG-13 I took under 13(this is high school ages, so expect language).

Middle School is for Growing

Last week I attended back to school night at my daughters middle school. The parents had a twelve minute visit with each teacher gathering information about each subject they will be teaching this school year.
.

My daughters third period class is Advanced Art. After the information portion of her presentation she became very solemn and proceeded to tell us that last year the school had lost two students. The first one was a sixth grade girl who had an aneurysm in her sleep and passed away. The other student was her own son. He was an eighth grader who was hit by a car while riding his bike. She claimed that she wasn't telling us these stories to make us sad. However, she wanted us to be aware that middle school grades are not looked at for college. That each moment we have with our children is precious, and this is not the time to push them with grades, even it they come home with a bad grade.
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Think about this... We only have our children for eighteen years until they go off to college. The days become weeks, and then years. Once we open our eyes they are adults and time has passed us by.
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Love your child(ren) every minute you can. Life is lived daily, and they deserve our best.

National Suicide Prevention Week

Image by Hannah Elizabeth. via FlickrLife is Precious. 


September 5th-11th is Suicide Prevention Week, and we are reminded(via Hopeline) that each year, 32,000 friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers in the U.S. take their own lives. 


If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, acceptance, or anything that is making you think about suicide. Please call for help. You are not alone, and there are so many people willing to listen. Call any of these numbers listed on this blog. Hopeline: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)


Service men and women coming back from Afghanistan, and veterans alike need to be aware there are people who can help. Military members helpline: Hopeline: 1-877-Vet2Vet (838-2838)


The Trevor Project is focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline: 
1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Please call if you are in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

The Kristin Brooks Hope Center - Hopeline is dedicated to raising awareness of suicide prevention, and providing support for those seeking help. Please pass on the word, help, and donate if you can. www.hopeline.com 

If we can help one person, 

then we have done our job as a human being.

See the Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and .com sites:

To Write Love on Her Arms - http://www.twloha.com/

Hopeline - http://hopeline.com/

The Trevor Project - http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

SAVE - http://www.save.org/

NoH8 - http://www.noh8campaign.com/

AFSP National - http://www.afsp.org/

Don't Jump - http://www.facebook.com/pleasedonotjump

Take 5 to Save Lives - https://twitter.com/Take5SaveLives

(and so many others...)

Another Reason To Love a Kindle

Image via CrunchBase

When I got my Kindle, I read on it daily. So many books and playing with the 3G. Reading in direct sunlight, and laughing at the text to talk feature. 
As the apps began to come out for the iPod Touch and iPhone my girls were able to load the Kindle app and read the stories that are appropriate for them. I had already downloaded many free books for them to read.


Yet, it wasn't until this week that I really saw first hand the beauty of the Kindle. Two of my children were reading Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Each could read the same story at the same time and not lose their place. No fighting over a physical book, and you can read as fast or slow as you wish. My other daughter was reading Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins at the same time as I was. She reads much faster than I do, and can take her book anywhere she goes as it is also her phone. Very convenient.
Keep this in mind when you go out to purchase a new phone. Look for one that you can use an app on. My choice for you is obviously a Kindle. But to each their own.

Vampires Suck

This wasn't my first choice for our day out at the movies, yet my darling children wanted to see it(I'm not kidding). Anyways, last Saturday afternoon we saw this movie. Yes this vampire movie did suck. It was a spoof, and I knew it was a spoof, but come on. It could have been a little better than the spoof on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dompotjTeIA
My final thought on this movie(if you want to call it that) it was a waste of money. Although a friend asked me if I had wasted two hours of my life. I told her that I was with my kids, and just being with them is not a waste of time... Money well that's a different story. I don't even think the Twilight haters would enjoy it.

Rate: D- (I'd give it an F, but I didn't walk out)
Don't spend any money on it.
PG? PG-13? F for FAIL

Found Missing Child *Suicide Information*

Missing -   *Highly Suicidal*ch

This original post was about my daughters friend who was missing. She has been found alive, and is being taken for the necessary medical treatment. In times of a missing child it takes friends, family, and your community to come together to support the family and spread the word. Facebook was an amazing source to use.


If you or someone you know is depressed and contemplating or even thinking of suicide do not wait, ask them directly. Seek help or look for the numerous face to face, phone, and online help available right now. Listed below are well known sources:

HELPLINES - IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO:

National Hopeline Network (U.S.A.) -  www.hopeline.com - 1-800-SUICIDE

S.A.F.E. Alternatives -  www.selfinjury.com - Self Abuse Finally Ends

Childhelp –  www.childhelp.org - 1-800-4-A-CHILD - National Child Abuse Hotline

National Domestic Violence Helpline -  www.ndvh.org   - 1-800-799-SAFE 

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network -  www.rainn.org – 1-800-656-HOPE National Sexual Assault Hotline

National Eating Disorders Association - www.nationaleatingdisorders.org - 1-800-931-2237

The Trevor Helpline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)

Teen Drivers and More

Image via Wikipedia

Please click link at bottom

This video has been going around Facebook for a very good reason. It's about bad decisions while driving, and accidents. Many teens are becoming of age to drive a vehicle. In California the restrictions for driving are strict, as they should be. All drivers are not allowed to talk or text while driving(exception: adults may use a speaker or ear piece). Teens also have a provisional drivers license until the age of 18. The first 12 months they may not drive anyone(with a few exceptions listed on the DMV page).

Q. Why is the department discriminating against teen drivers?

A. The department is not discriminating. It is implementing legislation to save lives. Recent statistics show that citations/serious accidents involving provisional drivers during the 9:00 PM to 5:00 AM period have dramatically increased over the past five years. The change in law should reduce accidents and save lives.

Please take the 7 minutes to watch this video. It is not based on only teens, many are adults. This is for anyone who drives a vehicle. 

WARNING this video is graphic. This link will take you to Youtube.

Click here:---> I have no words after watching this video... Please drive safely.