Parent Position Open

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   PARENT - Job Description 

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, 

I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION : 

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop 

JOB DESCRIPTION : 

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, 

permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 

Candidates must possess excellent communication 

and organizational skills and be willing to work 

variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 

and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 

Some overnight travel required, including trips to 

primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 

Travel expenses not reimbursed. 

Extensive courier duties also required. 

RESPONSIBILITIES : 

The rest of your life. 

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 

until someone needs $5. 

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a 

pack mule 

and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 

in case, this time, the screams from 

the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 

such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets 

and stuck zippers. 

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 

coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings 

for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 

Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 

and  embarrassment the next. 

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 

half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 

Must assume final, complete accountability for

the quality of the end product. 

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 

janitorial work throughout the facility. 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : 

None. 

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, 

so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you 

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : 

None required unfortunately. 

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION : 

Get this!   You pay them! 

Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 

of the assumption that college will help them 

become financially independent. 

When you die, you give them whatever is left. 

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 

you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 

BENEFITS : 

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, 

no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 

no stock options are offered; 

this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, 

and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. 

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 

letting them know they are appreciated 

for the fabulous job they do... 

or forward with love 

to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

Meal for Thought

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Earlier this month my husband and I were fortunate enough to take the Eurostar (Train) from Paris to London. This is no ordinary train ride. You travel through the English Channel to the beautiful countryside of England. I only wish the tunnel through the channel was clear like you were at the shark encounter at Sea World.


On the ride we were served rather nice meals. My husband and I had already selected the vegetarian meal. We were offered wine, beer or soft drinks along with a warm wash cloth to clean our hands. The meals came and we were very impressed with our delicious mushroom and cheese tortellini. Sides were to perfect as well as the dessert. Now the others on the train had their choice of beef or chicken. The family across from us chose beef. Well needless to say my food looked far better than what ever they were eating. 


I'm not putting down the selection that was offered, but always think that a vegetarian meal may be a great choice. 


I will always remember the Eurostar as it took me to one of my (now) favorite places. 

Writer Humor(sent in email form, but had to share)

# 1.A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

#2.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

#3.How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
Two.  One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Kindle -vs- Book Stores(IMO)

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I have been a Kindle user for almost a year now. I love how simple and inexpensive each book is to buy. Although, I have run into a few obstacles on books that were not available on Kindle, you are given the option to ask the author to release the certain book for Kindle. As of yet, the two that come to mind are still not available on Kindle. I requested them from the library.

Now I do love a great book store. The smell and feel of a book is refreshing. Last weekend I took a walk through Barnes & Noble with my wish list in hand(or better yet, on my phone). As I strolled through the YA section I found that more than half of my books weren't even on the store shelves. I only found 2 out of the 8 that I was interested in buying in paper form. I was very sad. Kind of lost actually. Why would they not have these books? Out of date? From another country? I can probably say yes to both, but still... I was in Barnes & Noble.

Don't get me wrong, I do realize that many of them are also not on Kindle. So to my trusty library online service I go. They usually have it, but I will not own it outright.

So back to my VS thought. I really like the fact that I can read on my Kindle at the same time my kids can read on their Touch. We can all read at the same time, and even the same book. I can have up to six users on my account. This is very useful to me as I hate folded pages, or marks, and torn up corners of a book. I keep my books neat and tidy. 

To sum up my random thoughts; I like both of them, and I will continue to use both of them. But I will say to have my current book with me on my own cell phone is an amazing time saver. I always have my cell phone therefore I always have something to read.

Good day all.

♥AZ

Home school or not?

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I home schooled my kids for three years. This year we put them back into the public system. Many of my home school friends asked how they are doing in public school? How are my days without teaching? And so on...


My answer is simple, my girls are struggling with the change. I told my friends not to put their kids in public unless they are very strong, and the parent can be even stronger.  Let me explain.


My now third grader has never been in the system.  Going from free to walk, eat, talk, and work to a very structured day. Many rules that are embedded into the children's mind start in kindergarten. Many learning techniques that a public school does on a daily basis is not how home schoolers work. Don't get me wrong, not all of them are bad. My third grader is very outgoing and very willing to learn, but it has now been seven months, and is just now starting to follow the structure the others have been drilled to learn for years. My child never struggled in home school.


As the parent, I am in the class weekly. I am in constant contact with the teacher, who if you have a great teacher that will work with you, and listen to the differences really makes a huge difference. Also having a school counselor involved with the transfer to public is an amazing help. Basically the counselor will help the child not struggle with the change, and work with them to make the up coming years memorable. A great Principle that is knowledgeable in home schooling is an amazing asset too. I am lucky to have these people to help with this long transition. My child loves, I mean LOVES public school. 


You may be asking will I ever home school them again? My answer is simple: If that is necessary then yes I will.


♥AZ♥