Are You The Bigger Person, Or The Bully?

Image via WikipediaSo are you the bigger person, or are you the bully? 


So many have been touched by a bully story in some way, and this is one that reminds us, that we too can help someone just by being kind. 


♦♦Thank you to another great IMAlive volunteer for allowing me to share the story.♦♦


One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' 

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. 

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' 

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends? 
He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. 

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. 
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' 
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 

'Thanks,' he said. 

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach....but mostly your friends...... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' 

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life. 
For better or for worse..... 

The Bridge

This documentary is an eye opener. So many people walk across the Golden Gate Bridge without any intention of jumping. Yet, it happens, and this bridge is the most used to commit suicide in the United States. In this documentary you will hear from family and friends of actual jumpers, as well as one who survived the jump. You will understand more about suicide, and why it's so important to learn more.

Rate: A
Buy: iTunes, DVD
Documentary with actual jumping off the bridge. Not for younger children.

Are You Afraid of Suicide?

As a parent, and a human being, I feel we all need to be more aware of suicide. It is a subject that so many are afraid to speak of, yet so many people are affected by suicide everyday. The person who is thinking of committing the act, and the friends and family of said person.

May I recommend a documentary for a better understanding of suicide. This documentary is very real, and explains many views of a suicidal person. "The Bridge" is about the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge is the most used bridge for suicide in the U.S.

Please ask the question "Are you thinking of suicide/killing yourself?" You might save a life.

National Suicide Prevention Week

Image by Hannah Elizabeth. via FlickrLife is Precious. 


September 5th-11th is Suicide Prevention Week, and we are reminded(via Hopeline) that each year, 32,000 friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers in the U.S. take their own lives. 


If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, acceptance, or anything that is making you think about suicide. Please call for help. You are not alone, and there are so many people willing to listen. Call any of these numbers listed on this blog. Hopeline: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)


Service men and women coming back from Afghanistan, and veterans alike need to be aware there are people who can help. Military members helpline: Hopeline: 1-877-Vet2Vet (838-2838)


The Trevor Project is focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline: 
1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Please call if you are in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

The Kristin Brooks Hope Center - Hopeline is dedicated to raising awareness of suicide prevention, and providing support for those seeking help. Please pass on the word, help, and donate if you can. www.hopeline.com 

If we can help one person, 

then we have done our job as a human being.

See the Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and .com sites:

To Write Love on Her Arms - http://www.twloha.com/

Hopeline - http://hopeline.com/

The Trevor Project - http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

SAVE - http://www.save.org/

NoH8 - http://www.noh8campaign.com/

AFSP National - http://www.afsp.org/

Don't Jump - http://www.facebook.com/pleasedonotjump

Take 5 to Save Lives - https://twitter.com/Take5SaveLives

(and so many others...)

Found Missing Child *Suicide Information*

Missing -   *Highly Suicidal*ch

This original post was about my daughters friend who was missing. She has been found alive, and is being taken for the necessary medical treatment. In times of a missing child it takes friends, family, and your community to come together to support the family and spread the word. Facebook was an amazing source to use.


If you or someone you know is depressed and contemplating or even thinking of suicide do not wait, ask them directly. Seek help or look for the numerous face to face, phone, and online help available right now. Listed below are well known sources:

HELPLINES - IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO:

National Hopeline Network (U.S.A.) -  www.hopeline.com - 1-800-SUICIDE

S.A.F.E. Alternatives -  www.selfinjury.com - Self Abuse Finally Ends

Childhelp –  www.childhelp.org - 1-800-4-A-CHILD - National Child Abuse Hotline

National Domestic Violence Helpline -  www.ndvh.org   - 1-800-799-SAFE 

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network -  www.rainn.org – 1-800-656-HOPE National Sexual Assault Hotline

National Eating Disorders Association - www.nationaleatingdisorders.org - 1-800-931-2237

The Trevor Helpline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)